Excerpted From Captive Hearts, Captive Minds

By Madeleine Landau Tobias & Janja Lalich, 1994

[Note: words in brackets are not in the book]

INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING

Former cult members seek professional counseling for a variety of reasons. These include the following conditions:

·      You find that emotional difficulties that you had prior to your cult involvement are resurfacing.

·      You have difficulty functioning fully or enjoying life. You have difficulty working, relaxing, or loving.

·      You feel overwhelmed by emotions such as depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, fear, and rage.

·      You continue to lapse into disturbing altered states, or have nightmares, insomnia, intrusive thoughts about the trauma experienced in the group, panic attacks, numbing of emotions, a feeling of deadness inside, or detachment from others.

Many of these symptoms are related to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is commonly found in survivors of rape, incest, and war, and victims of natural disasters, such as floods, tornadoes, and earthquakes. These symptoms often require professional care. [Read: Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (affects those who have suffered prolonged, repeated trauma and abuse]

When choosing a counselor, particularly if you have not been through a formal exit counseling, try to find someone with experience in counseling former cult members or someone who is at least willing to learn about typical cult-related problems.

Without study, few professionals truly understand thought reform and its consequences. In addition, many psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers believe that cults were a passing fad, now gone. There is also a tendency for some professionals to say that a cultic involvement is the result of some pathology-that is, some kind of abnormal condition-in the person who joins such a group or gets into such a relationship. Other professionals believe the problem lies with the parents, and that if the parents had not been peculiar in some way the children would never have joined a cult. This is an example of the unfortunate and damaging practice of blaming the victim (or the victim's parents), similar to the type of blaming found in rape cases.

There are specific cult-related issues that professional counselors need to be aware of if they wish to help clients who were in a cultic situation. If mental health professionals do not have an understanding of mind control or are quick to use hypnotic techniques (which may exacerbate problems in ex-members already suffering from dissociation), they may do more harm than good ... Perhaps most important, therapy should start with the client talking about the cult experience, not her or his childhood.

In your search for a counselor, consult resource organizations, close friends, family, clergy, and medical professionals. Basically, there are several types of counseling professionals who can be of assistance: exit counselors, pastoral counselors, and psychological counselors. Remember that selecting a counselor is a very personal choice. You may feel comfortable with one type of counselor, while a friend or partner may prefer a different approach. You might take advantage of different types at different times during the healing process. In all cases, shop around and feel assured that you have found someone you can talk to and confide in.

EXIT COUNSELING

If you left the cult voluntarily or were kicked out, you may benefit from meeting with a professional exit counselor. It is important to remember that exit counseling is not psychotherapy. Exit counselors offer short-term counseling and can be helpful on a temporary basis to gain an understanding of cults and thought-reform techniques. In a post-cult situation exit counselors are often used in conjunction with another type of counselor.

The advantage of an exit counseling is that it can provide you with a basis for understanding your experience in a way that will promote further healing. Often, former members are not aware of the specific manipulative techniques used in the group, or their potential aftereffects. They may find it difficult to distinguish and separate the cult beliefs and values from their own. Illogical, magical, and black-and-white thinking, difficulties in concentrating and making decisions, and erratic behaviors and feelings are all problems that are more easily eradicated when their source is known. A day or two-or even just several hours-of exit counseling may be all you need to sort through the various cult mind-control issues.

To choose an exit counselor, start by interviewing those who have expertise in your particular group or type of cult. Ask other former members about their exit counseling experiences. Read as much as you can about cults and mind control beforehand...

Be sure to interview several counselors before choosing one. In making your final selection, consider the following:

1.   Is the exit counselor a former cult member?

2.   What is the exit counselor's level of experience?

3.   What is the exit counselor's philosophy of exit counseling? What approach will be taken?

4.   What is the fee structure? Will you be able to contract for one or two days? Can you travel to the exit counselor's location? Where would you stay? Can you afford to pay for the exit counselor to come to your location?

Select someone you feel comfortable with and can afford, who has a clear grasp of how mind control works. Familiarity with your particular group may be an asset. More important, though, is the exit counselor's ability to help you sort through your experience even if little is known about your specific cult.

PASTORAL COUNSELING

Pastoral counseling is particularly helpful for those who previously had a strong religious affiliation and for those coming out of religious cults, to help clarify distortions in the Scriptures. As with other professional help, it is helpful to locate a clergyperson who has familiarity with cults and mind control. Churches and religious organizations are hard hit by the loss of their members to cults and increasingly are confronting the cult issue.

The theological task is not usually the one taken up immediately after departure from a cult. Counselees often will need to learn to handle more mundane, less abstract emotions first, before learning to cope with larger abstractions. The counselees themselves will generally tell the pastoral counselor when the theological issues can be dealt with.

PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING

A variety of mental health professionals with different titles and degrees offer psychological services. Counselors and psychotherapists may have masters or doctoral degrees (M.A. or Ph.D.) in social work, marriage and family counseling, nursing, clinical psychology, and psychiatry. Clinical psychologists (Ph.D., Psy.D.) are trained to evaluate and treat emotional and mental problems. Psychiatrists (M.D.) first train as medical doctors and later specialize in the treatment of mental and nervous disorders. Clinical social workers (M.S.W.) and nurse clinicians (R.N., C.S.) receive advanced clinical training in their fields.

To qualify as a counselor, there are professional standards that must be. met: a certain number of hours of internship, supervised clinical experience, and/or licensing exams. Most professionals belong to a recognized professional organization that subscribes to a code of ethics. Depending on the type of training, each professional is limited in what he or she can do. Because psychiatrists have medical degrees, they can prescribe medication, whereas most others cannot. Psychologists receive formal training in assessment and therefore can administer personality and intelligence tests, whereas others cannot. Clinical specialists in adult and/or child psychiatric or mental health nursing are nurses with advanced degrees and training in psychotherapy. Some nurses in advanced practice are licensed to prescribe medication as well.

Fees vary, with some clinicians offering a sliding scale for low-income clients. Lower fees and sliding scales are also found at some mental health clinics. Many health insurance policies cover a limited number of visits for psychological counseling, within certain restrictions set by the insurance company. Check your policy or ask the human-resources administrator at your workplace. Your discussions will be kept confidential.

OTHER CONSIDERATIONS IN CHOOSING A THERAPIST OR COUNSELOR

A therapist or counselor should view cult experience as a major contributing factor to your current problems and believe that it should be addressed early in the therapy sessions. This person can then assist you as a coach, an ally, in a psycho-educational process.

A therapist should be willing to learn from you and offer explanations to you. If your therapist belittles or disregards your cult experience or insists that your current issues are exclusively related to childhood and family dynamics, or to an underlying need to be controlled, it is time to change therapists.

If you cannot find a therapist familiar with cults and mind control, consider seeing an exit counselor first. That way you will be less likely to confuse cult-related issues with other difficulties, and you will have a better chance of educating your therapist about cults and mind control. This is also good time and money management. It will shorten therapy, save you money, and tap the talents and knowledge of both the exit counselor and the therapist to your best advantage.

The following questions and guidelines may be useful in your selection of a therapist.

QUESTIONS TO ASK IN THE FIRST SESSION

Consider asking the following questions during the first session with a therapist or counselor. Remember, you do not have to select the first person you talk to. Don't be afraid to "interview" the therapist to make sure he or she will be able to meet your needs.

1.    What is your educational background? Are you licensed or accredited?

2.    What is your counseling experience? How long and with what types of clients?

3.    Do you have an area of expertise?

4.    Do you have training in cults and mind control?

5.    Are you a former member of a cultic group or relationship? What kind of post-cult counseling did you have?

6.    What type of therapy do you practice (for example, Freudian, cognitive-behavioral, humanistic, transpersonal, bodywork) and what will it involve? Do you utilize hypnosis or other trance-induction techniques? (Some types of therapy utilize New Age concepts, guided-visualization techniques, and hypnosis, which may trigger you and compound your difficulties.)

[EMDR: A number of survivors who have suffered trauma say they have been helped with a new procedure called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). However, therapists trained in complex trauma-related conditions (including mind control trauma) have told us that if the survivor is dissociative, this therapy can cause a flooding of memories. Please discuss this, and any other questions, with a qualified therapist.]

7.   Do you believe in "therapeutic" touching of clients? What, in your opinion, is permissible touching?

8.   Do you believe that it is ever appropriate to have sex with clients or former clients? (Run-don't walk-out of the office if the answer is anything other than "Never.")

9.   Are you reachable in a crisis or an emergency? How are such consultations billed?

10.  What is your fee? Do you have a sliding scale for those who can't afford your full fee? What is your cancellation policy?

11.  What is the length of a regular therapy session?

12.  How do you feel about the New Age? Do you incorporate any New Age techniques in your therapy (for example, using crystals, past life regressions)?

13.  Would you tell me a little about your philosophy of life?

14.  Do you believe in setting treatment goals? How are these established?

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF AFTER THE FIRST SESSION

1.   Did you feel accepted, respected, and comfortable with the therapist?

2.   Did anything in the environment make you feel uneasy? Don't feel strange if you react to the furniture, paintings, books, or other objects in the office.

3.   Was the therapist direct and open in answering all your questions, or did he or she dodge some?

4.   Did the therapist give you the impression that she or he has all the answers (if so, consider going to another therapist), or did she or he seem interested in exploring issues with no preconceived expectations?

5.   Did you get the feeling that the therapist is sensitive, intelligent, and mature, someone with whom you could feel safe?

6.   Did the therapist over-reassure you that you now had the right counselor to take care of you? In other words, were you being set up to idealize him or her as the perfect therapist, the only one who could heal you?

GENERAL MATTERS TO KEEP IN MIND

1.   Trust your own judgment. You have the right not to trust immediately. Trust needs to be earned-there are no shortcuts.

2.   Interview several therapists-after all, you wouldn't buy the first car or stereo you looked at.

3.   Get information from friends, other former members... and agencies such as rape crisis centers (the latter generally know therapists skilled in dealing with trauma issues).

4.   You can stop therapy any time you want. Therapy is for you, not the therapist.

5.   Touching is a highly personal issue. Some therapists will hug a client. This should be initiated by the client, not the therapist. Touching should be discussed openly, early in therapy. If touching makes you feel uncomfortable, say something right away.

6.   It is never okay to be touched on the chest, genitals, or anyplace else that makes you uncomfortable.

7.   It is important that the therapist interact with you during the session. People coming out of cultic experiences need a therapist who is interactive without telling you what to do.