I
Don't Feel Like a
Very Good Christian
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I met with some friends the other day and our conversation took a more serious turn. "I feel like a terrible Christian," Debbie moaned in exasperation. "I've been crabby with the kids and haven't had any time for reading the Bible in days. Allen agreed and exclaimed, "I've been stressed out at work for the past three weeks and I've just prayed in the car on the way to my job. This sure doesn't feel like the 'abundant life' we Christians are supposed to have!" The rest of us chimed in with our own spiritual frustrations--but none of us had any answers, and the conversation moved on. I don't believe we're unusual. My Christian friends and I long for fruitful lives that reflect the character of Jesus. Unfortunately, we often feel over-committed, under-disciplined, and anything but Spirit-filled. Is it possible for us to move beyond feeling like failures as Christians to resting in our status as beloved children of God? Perhaps if we look at some ways we can be blindsided by guilt and discouragement, our eyes will be opened to the rest and quietness God promises: "In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not." (Isaiah 30:15) Consider That We Need to Rest: Sometimes, in our search to understand why we don't feel like very good Christians, we miss what may be the most straightforward explanation--we are tired and need rest. How many of us wake up early to squeeze in a prayer, run around all day accomplishing several tasks, then dash to an evening meeting or sporting event at school? No wonder we drag in our spiritual lives! God made us physical beings with body rhythms and the need for rest. Like two year olds who play themselves into crankiness and exhaustion, we need to take time to rest our bodies and our minds. Imagine the novelty of a day in which we enjoy rather than strive and we relax rather than achieve. This may be just the spiritual boost you need. Consider the Lies Versus the Truth: The more we feel like failures in our Christian journey, the more Satan is delighted. He glories in our discouragement, he is gleeful over our every failed attempt. The enemy knows we won't fall for an obvious frontal assault, so he's subtle. Several years ago, before teaching my Bible study class, I experienced paralyzing guilt over a recurring scenario. In my mind, a blaming voice would taunt me, saying, "Who do you think you are to teach anything about God?" Each time, I'd immediately rehash my numerous failings. You're right, I'd think, I've really blown it. I shouldn't be teaching. A sense of failure gripped me as I succumbed to imaginary accusations. A wise friend finally jolted me out of my downward spiral, "Don't you know that those are lies playing in your mind that the enemy wants you to believe?" The Lord doesn't speak with a strident voice of accusation. His words to us are gentle and hopeful: "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29,30) Consider Christian Friends: That incident taught me another lesson--I need others to hold me to the truth of God's Word. Our culture's emphasis on individualism limits our perspective. If I depend only on my own judgment to determine how I'm doing in my spiritual life, I might miss out on valuable insights from other Christians. Not only can Christian friends draw us into effective ministry, they also can take us out of places we don't belong. I'm prone to view every need around me as a call on my life. Those of us who are nurturers by nature can easily commit to people, programs, or issues that may or may not be God's focus for our attention at that time. We need the perspectives and prayers of others to sort out what our true priorities should be. Consider the Culture: Our culture is caught up in an "activism" mentality that would leave our ancestors breathless. We juggle with time management and maintain a "yearbook" approach to life by collecting extensive lists of involvements and achievements to validate our worth. Unfortunately, the activism of our culture carries over into our spiritual life as well. The irony of our spiritual life is that the sheer volume of Christian activities may squeeze out our relationship with Jesus. We end up feeling like terrible Christians even while accomplishing things that seem worthwhile. Ultimately, it's the Spirit's work in our life that helps us grow spiritually. It's not something we can "work up" ourselves--and it's not going to look the same for everyone. Consider Our Parenting: For those of us who have children, a prime source of guilt over our Christian life has to do with our fear of failing as parents. We worry about being "functional families" in a psychological milieu that consistently blames parents for difficult children. How many devout Christian mothers and fathers have been overcome with feelings of spiritual failure over a difficult child? Somehow, we equate our role as parent with God's role--and assume sole responsibility for how our children turn out. A friend of mine helped me to see the error in that kind of thinking. Forced by divorce into a wrenching separation from her children, she had to relinquish the fantasy that she was in control as a mother. Able to see her daughters only on an occasional basis, my friend developed an utter dependence on God to watch over, nurture, and care for them. Though her way has been painful, Jesus has proved Himself trustworthy in seeing her children through to maturity. Someone once quipped, "We are never happier than our least happy child." However, the Bible tells us that God's grace is sufficient for all our needs: "And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work." (2 Corinthians 9:8) Consider the Shepherd: Several weeks ago, I was dealing with ongoing crises--sick children, school difficulties, home repairs, and car malfunctions. Discouraged, I feel into bed exhausted and tried to pray. My attempts were flat and uninspired, and I quickly plummeted into a deep sleep. The clock radio jolted me awake with an intense voice speaking words I'm sure the Lord wanted me to hear: "When your prayers don't seem to be getting any higher than the ceiling, don't worry...that's high enough." The mystery of Emmanuel, God with us, is that He already is with us--He has paid the price and chosen us as His children-and we can call Him "Abba," Daddy: "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8:15) There is no behavioral hoop we need to jump through in order to snuggle in His arms. Jesus, our Good Shepherd, doesn't punish His lambs for getting lost or confused. Rather, "He shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young." (Isaiah 40:11) We may feel like failures as Christians, but our Shepherd lifts us close to Him with tenderness and compassion--until we're ready to walk alongside in perfect confidence. And like the apostle Paul, our confidence is in this: "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:5) ~ Adapted from an article by L. Patterson
An End to Guilt (Excellent message that focuses on the unconditional love of God and gives a clear understanding of grace) My Position in Christ (accepted and secure forever) Because God Loves Me (How does the true God see His children?) Back to Articles For Those Who Were Emotionally and Spiritually Abused |
