"Wow! We didn't know that! That old guy, our founder, developed that losing formula, so we apologize. It seems to fail 100% of the time. Well, don't expect a refund because we can't do this because of logistics, not to mention that it's pretty unreasonable on your part to demand such. And please don't expect us to disband our company either just because our product sucks. But that's in the past now. We know it sucks, and you know it sucks, but all you have to do is forgive us, and in the meantime, we'll work on changing the formula. But we can tell you that your hair looks great, and we can make you feel good, even though you're still bald and our product didn't do anything we claimed that it did, but hey, that's out in the open now. Why criticize us since we're being so nice to you? And don't bother dwelling on our company's past history, because, well, it sucks too, but at least we're willing to admit that. I'm sure glad you see it our way and are letting us keep your money. Make sure you let everyone know how nice we are and if they complain about our product, well, that was stuff they bought 10 years ago. They aren't very forgiving and they're stuck in the past. But we shall move forward together in this, and don't forget to send us your money so we can keep developing and improving our product. We've changed so much since the last guy was in charge. We're glad that you understand that we're under 'new management.' Nice guys like you are hard to come by!"

I don't think anyone would like this company very much, but many seem ready to defend the Worldwide Church of God on the same grounds. 

By Chad (former WCG member)
February 9, 2007

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