Amazing Words That Have Been Said to Exiters

Amazing Words That Have Been Said to Exiters
-or-
(What Never to Say to Someone Who Has Been Deceived
by an Exploitive, Abusive Group)

	"If you had kept up prayer and Bible study you wouldn't have ended up deceived."
	"Why did you take so long to leave?"
	"You certainly are the last person I would think would join a cult."
	"Your group isn't a cult; they have the right doctrines. Perhaps you're just bitter."
	"They aren't a cult, only a little aberrant."
	"You need to get into a good church."
	"We've got just the class for you. It's for those who are new with the Bible."
	"Getting into the Word of God is your answer."
	"You need to repent of your sins."
	"You were in Satan's clutches."
	"What do you have to be depressed about? You're out, aren't you?"
	"There are people worse off than you are."
	"How could you have been so foolish? (or stupid)"
	"I hope you're smart enough now not to get involved in another cult."
	"Why can't you just forgive and forget?"
	"I don't want to hear anymore about your former group."
	"Why are you continuing to dwell on this? Get on with your life!"
	"You must have been weak spiritually."
	"You're over-reacting."
	"Forget about those people! [in the group you left] You'll make new friends at a new church."
	"No one in your kind of group could be converted."
	"If you had just stayed in the Word, you never would have been deceived."
	Someone sent me one of HWA's booklets and I saw right through it." (Translation: "I am beyond being deceived, you weren't.")
	"Are your children [that were raised in the group and thrown out] saved?"
	"Why give up on God? You're the one that turned away from Him!"
	"What do you expect? You caused your family to act the way they do toward you."
	"You chose to go into a cult.

COMMENTS: WCG exiters went through years of hearing foolish, demeaning and humiliating comments by ministers. They certainly don't need to hear it from others now that they are out.

Besides saying words such as the above, other people who have never been involved with an exploitive, deceptive, mind-controlling group, can often appear "afraid" of the one that has just exited, being unable to talk to the exiter beyond a few words. Others try to avoid the exiter, acting like something bad might rub off on them. Survivors can unfortunately even be treated (at least, at first) as if they are "unintelligent," "weird" or "fragile" and others may think they have to take special pains to try to "explain" something to the exiter or to "protect" them. They may think the exiter has the wrong Bible and try to offer them a new one. I had someone try to give me their Bible! I guess she thought the Bible I used in the WCG was corrupt and I needed to get immediately into learning correct doctrine from the "true" Bible. Christians can fail to understand that what a survivor needs most is for someone to listen to them and try to understand how their experience, without downplaying it.

These can all be very hurtful and patronizing situations. But a "survivor" is just that. Someone who has survived a very intolerable, abusive situation and has gone down paths others have not trod, accumulated knowledge, insight, discernment and wisdom that others do not have, and is much stronger as a result of it all.

By D. W.
Exit & Support Network™

Read: How do I tell others I was in a cult? (Q&A)

Recovery From Spiritual Abuse - How You Can Help [good offsite article]

Common Spiritual Difficulties After a High Demand Group

Common Emotional Difficulties After a High Demand Group

Back to Articles For Those Who Were Emotionally and Spiritually Abused