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Resisting persuasion
Resisting systems
Challenging the system

Resisting persuasion:
Going passively along "on automatic" is often our worst enemy. When we
habitually take simple assumptions for granted in a setting, we fail to
check out the reality. The following are suggestions for awareness and
resistance:
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Actively monitor social interactions.
Practice thinking ahead, anticipating what will come next, checking
discrepancies and noting how you feel about them.
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Be willing to disobey simply situational
rules when you feel you should, to sound false alarms occasionally or
cause a scene. Never do anything you don't believe just to appear
normal or get someone off your back.
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At the very least, try to get more
information so you can carefully consider the consequences of saying
"no" to something that could turn out essentially "good" (could you
return in a week or a year and say "yes?"), or of saying "yes" to
something that could turn out essentially "bad" (could you lose your
money, pride, or life?).
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Practice "seeing through" programmed
responses to authority. Pay attention to the social roles you and
others play, including such subtle indicators as clothing --the
business suit, etc.
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Be aware of who is controlling whom in
social situations, to what end and at what cost.
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To the extent that it seems possible,
refuse to accept the initial premise that someone else is more
powerful, more competent, more in control than you are.
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State your arguments with conviction if
the other person does so.
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Learn to retain a sense of self-worth in
the face of intimidating circumstances--anything that makes you
feel exhilarated and alive, that you will not reveal to others, but
will retain as an inner core that cannot be violated. |
The best persuaders always appear to be just like us. Attitude change
is most effective when it goes unnoticed. Among some defenses, one should
check for signs of ingratiation, for overemphasis on mutual interests, and
for requests for just one small commitment now, with an open-ended
contract for later.
Mind control typically involves coming to accept a new reality. We are
often dissuaded from probing beyond surface illusions of meaningfulness by
letting symbols substitute for reality, abstract maps for concrete
territories.
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Never accept vague generalities and
inadequate explanations in response to your pleas, questions, or
challenges.
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Learn to recognize when a message is
actually confused or ambiguous, perhaps intentionally so, especially
if someone suggest "you're just too stupid to understand" or "women
get too emotional to think logically."
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Paraphrase other people's thoughts both
aloud and to yourself to see if you're understanding clearly.
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Practice generating creative arguments
and counterarguments as you listen to persuasive messages to avoid
slipping into "automatic" processing.
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Always seek outside information and
criticism before joining a group or making a commitment to invest
time, energy, or money in some endeavor.
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Train yourself and your children to
notice the "tricks" in deceptive packaging such as those used in TV
commercials. |
Susceptibility to mind control becomes greater when individuals are
forced to focus attention on themselves, making them feel deviant or
silly. To combat this:
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Be sensitive to--and avoid--situations
and people that put you on the spot, making you feel different,
awkward, or inadequate.
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Try to focus on what you are doing,
rather than on thoughts about yourself. Don't generate negative
internal dialogs about yourself, and never accept a chronically
negative view from someone else.
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Maintain some nonsocial interests that
satisfy you while alone--painting, carpentry, working on cars, reading
or writing, for example.
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Be willing to look foolish now and then,
to accept being "different" as being "special," rather than inferior. |
If you can develop a concrete sense of self-worth, a sense of who you
are, what you are interested in, and where your competencies lie, quite
apart from the values, interests, and judgments of others, you may feel
better about yourself in their presence, as well as in their absence.
Many of the most powerfully persuasive appeals are based on making
people afraid or anxious. The following are suggestions for reducing this
influence:
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No matter what the relationship, avoid
getting sucked into unwanted confessions that may later be used
against you. Many cults and mind-control systems use public
confessions, self-exposure, "games," and the like to catalog the
weaknesses of their followers for later exploitation.
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Avoid making decisions when under
stress, particularly in the presence of the person who has triggered
the emotional reaction. Tell them you'll decide
maņana
[tomorrow].
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As you feel yourself becoming
uncomfortably aroused, begin taking slower, deeper breaths to help
your body relax. |
Gnawing feelings of guilt can also provide a powerful impetus for
personal change. To counteract such tactics, learn to confront your
frustrations and fears. Don't let people make you feel indebted to them.
Once aware that their prey is bagged, the slickest operators then
emphasize the victim's freedom of choice, after tactfully constraining the
alternatives. The new persuaded person chooses "freely" while the
influencer bolsters his or her decision.
Alternatively, the persuader may deliberately provoke your reaction in
the desired direction. Some helpful hints:
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Be wary of people who overemphasize how
free you are to choose among the options they have prescribed.
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Test the limits of your options by
selecting "none of the above" or by proposing unexpected alternatives,
at least tentatively, especially when you create them yourself and
think they are better. |
Resisting systems:
Large-scale systems of social persuasion
depend on controls which impart a sense of belonging to a broad movement.
Tightly structured situations are dangerous when we lose sight of who we
are, when we forget that we have feelings and histories other than those
programmed by the immediate social setting and the roles we are led to
play in it. Some suggestions:
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Test for
the presence of stated or unstated rules that unnecessarily restrict
freedom of speech, action, and association. By subtly violating some
of the rules and roles, you may discover how much latitude is allowed
for eccentric or creative self-expression.
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Resist the
lure of uniforms [or similar dress] and other disguises that makes you
look like one of the bunch.
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Develop a
sense of humor about yourself to retain a creative view of your
situation and deal with any apparent personal weakness without undue
anxiety.
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Listen to
criticism of your most cherished beliefs and institutions. Know them,
but don't accept them uncritically.
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Retain your
sense of individual integrity in the system by calling others by name
and referring to yourself by name. If people are typically referred to
by title, try adding their first or last name to the conventional
address, abbreviating it casually, or somehow reformulating the
typical approach.
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Disclose
personal observations about your surroundings and about experiences
you've had elsewhere to those you feel might share your views. Elicit
feelings and ideas from them so that, together, you can disengage the
"scripts" that specify the basic, unquestioned rules of the present
setting.
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Remember
that ignoring social rules is not easy and is sometimes met with
censure. |
When groups become preoccupied with
seeking and maintaining unanimity of thought, they tend to isolate
themselves from outside sources of information, and their decision-making
processes deteriorate.
Persuaders bring us to their place of
power, separate the good or aware "us" from the evil, ignorant "them," and
then proceed to limit our access to ideas that they find heretical,
traitorous, or not in their best interests.
When we are isolated from outside
information, it is impossible to make unbiased decisions.
When we come to believe so thoroughly in
our favorite concepts that we begin to hate those who don't share our
views, to develop rehearsed, programmatic responses to discrediting
arguments, and to acknowledge only ideas stated within our terminology, it
may be time to make our belief systems a little more permeable. Some
suggested tactics:
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Try to
establish whether you can actually have an impact upon decision-making
processes or whether you are simply part of the clean-up crew for
decisions that have already been made.
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Refuse to
accept a we-they dichotomy that cuts you off from outsiders and
suggests you should think of them in terms of dehumanizing labels
[i.e., "evil," "demon-possessed," etc.]
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Suspect
appeals that encourage you to detach your feelings from the rest of
your being; assert the harmony of mind and body, intellect and
emotion, past and present.
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Try to
encourage independent thinking among group members.
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Remember
that the minority may at times have the only accurate view of the
issues. Any worthwhile group should tolerate dissent or be abandoned.
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Question
commitments if they are no longer appropriate for you. Consistency in
the face of contrary evidence is usually not a virtue, but a sign of
rigidity, delusion, or prejudice.
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Maintain
outside interests and sources of social support. Reject the appeal
that devotion to the cause requires severing these ties.
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Family and
friends should leave the path back home open. Your unconditional
accessibility to those who have strayed, no matter what they've done
or said, may be their only hope. |
Disowning children, friends, or relatives
when you disapprove of their decisions is much less effective in the long
run than a gentle hand and some warm words. "Love-bombing" is the favorite
tactic of most cults because it works best among the love-deprived--those
to whom we have not given love.
Challenging the system:
The tighter a system is, the more likely that minor challenges will be
met with retaliation. In religious or political cults, and so on, people
have virtually total control over the existence of others.
Threats to that power are intolerable. Even systems that appear less
authoritarian may wield comparable punishments onto dissidents. For this
reason, it's often more practical to challenge systems from outside,
especially by forming other systems. Some final suggestions:
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Don't let your silence pass for
agreement with the system. While talking with others, subtly imply
your discontent in areas where you think they might agree.
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Once you establish a group of allies and
decide that you cannot escape the system or that you are committed to change it, band together in
opposition. A consistent minority, firm in its conviction, can often
undo a majority.
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Begin by assessing the power of those
who hold the reins. By determining what contributions you make to the
system that are important to its functioning, you can collect a
significant repository of such resources to withhold from the system
when bargaining time arrives.
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Exit those situations in which
disobedience is likely to be futile and punishable, if you can. Escape
plans must be carefully thought through in concrete terms, not wished
about vaguely. Above all, try to take others with you, rather than
going alone. |
It takes a firm sense of social commitment to escape a system of mind
control and to then persist in challenging it from without. However,
it is because we can exercise our ability to critically evaluate ideas,
institutions, and our own behavior that we can perceive options beyond
those provided by convenient dogma and ostensibly inescapable
circumstances. In this way, we are "free" to make meaningful choices and
to not be controlled.
~Excerpted from Resisting Mind Control
by S. M. Andersen and P. G. Zimbardo, USA Today reprint,
November 1980.
Articles
for Those Who Were Emotionally & Spiritually Abused
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