I learned that the more "spiritual" a family was the more "quiet and obedient" their children were. When the children got unruly and restless from sitting there for two hours (or more, if Gerald Waterhouse was there), they got "taken out" to the Mother's Room, where they were "disciplined" and then promptly returned to services. I did not have children at the time, but I heard so much about how children were filled with "human nature" and had "naturally rebellious spirits" which had to be "spanked out of them."2 I learned that the children had to be quickly returned to services once they were "disciplined" or they would get smart about acting up in services just so they could get up and play. They had to know that "going to the Mother's Room" meant an "unpleasant experience" was waiting ahead for them.

I can recall going to one Feast and hearing a little girl screaming and begging from behind a bathroom stall, "NO, MOMMY!! P-L-E-A-S-E don't hit me!! I'll be good!!!" The mother was extremely angry and smacked the child very hard over and over again. The whole thing made me feel sick because I knew the child was not being spanked--she was being beaten. The screams and pleas that came from this little girl were awful! And what I think I hated the most was my reaction--or non-reaction--to what was going on. I quickly left the bathroom, but not without noticing first how totally disconnected everyone was to the whole situation. Nobody even blinked! We went about our business as if nothing was going on. We were so sure that this woman was doing the right thing, that "sparing the rod" would be "spoiling the child." Nobody intervened on that poor child's behalf.

I remember when we were attending the feast in Lexington, Kentucky and one of the maids in our hotel came in to clean our room. She told me that the people across the hall from us were mistreating their children. When I questioned her further, she said that "the man in that room was screaming at his kids" and she overheard everything through the door. Then she heard him hit one of them so hard that the child slammed against the door. I was extremely upset and I began to watch that door to see who was staying there. I finally had gotten a glimpse of them--a father, a mother, and three small children. The father was a total washout--a domineering man who kept to himself. He had to have made decent money since the hotel we were staying in wasn't cheap. The wife was very quiet--too fearful to be friendly--and the children were somewhere between two and six years old. I was so angry that this man could hit these innocent little kids. At least this time I wasn't going to ignore the problem. We went to our minister and told him what had happened. His answer? "I'm sure that man's local pastor is well aware of the problem and is taking care of it." In other words, "Mind your own business."

I remember another incident while sitting in the second row during a Sabbath service (we must have gotten there late and had to sit that far toward the front). The Associate Pastor's wife had spread out a blanket for her two young boys to sit on. She had asked the two year old to move over. He was preoccupied with his toy at the time and didn't do it. She asked him again, and he ignored her. She asked him one more time, and he (like all two year olds) automatically said, "No!" She promptly pulled a long wooden spoon out of the diaper bag and picked up the child and headed for the Mother's Room. The child began to cry, but she continued on her spanking mission. That's when I learned that you were supposed to bring a wooden spoon or paddle to "discipline" your child with.

I recall a sermon given by Dean Blackwell3 on child rearing. He was quoting from a book on child rearing by a Christian psychologist. I remember a remark that he made about the author. He said, "One would think that he (the author) was a converted man!" Unfortunately, he used the book out of context and would only quote the parts about spanking.

I remember learning that children who "took notes during services" like their parents were considered "more spiritual" and "mature" and their parents were admired for "setting an example."

I remember when we began having children at the same time that another couple in the congregation began having their children. They were "2nd generation Christians" and had grown up in "the church." They had a girl about two or three months before I had our son. I remember the mother telling me that they were spanking the girl for not sleeping at night--she was only seven months old at the time.4 I remember when they were trying to potty train her and she kept having accidents (she was only two years old). The mother had asked her mother-in-law (a long time member--she might have been a deaconess--but I can't remember) what to do. "Spank her, she's being rebellious," was her response. I felt so sorry for that child. It seemed like she was being spanked for every little infraction for behaving like a normal child. Needless to say, this girl began having nightmares and screaming spells during the night. She also had a reputation for "being sneaky." (I'd be sneaky, too, if I got swatted all the time.) I can remember the few times that we sat behind them during services. The little girl would turn around to look at my son and the father would glare at her and take her by the head and turn her around (she was about two at the time). My son was fairly active and it would cause her to want to look and see what he was doing. I know this couple thought that we weren't "controlling" our child and I had gotten to where I would avoid sitting anywhere near them just because I couldn't stand to see that little girl get in trouble over nothing.

I remember one teenage girl who was adopted and wasn't allowed to date because she was of Asian descent and since nobody else in the area was Asian, she wasn't allowed to dance with, or date anyone. She was such a beautiful young lady and very sweet. Her sister was Caucasian and had plenty of guys to pick and choose from. At least the very few African-Americans in "the church" had somebody to dance with, but Asians were out of luck. I couldn't imagine being a teen, and not be allowed to go to school dances, and then not be allowed to dance or date anyone in "the church" either! What a lose-lose situation! This question also came up with us since I am of mixed race. We were told that whichever race our child chose to date, that would be the one they would have to stick with and that they couldn't "crossover." In other words, if my daughter had chosen to date Asians, she could not change her mind later and decide to date a Caucasian!! There was to be "no mixing of the races." I am so glad that Jesus holds no such prejudice against us!!

When the children in WCG began to "question," they were labeled "rebellious" and when they got old enough to leave "the church," there was an attitude of "good riddance" when they did. It's such an awful shame that we tossed these little ones aside like a piece of meaningless garbage. Now that I have children, my heart aches for them even more.

I really liked the kids in the WCG--they were very nice. I am ashamed of myself for thinking that this type of abuse was "good for them." I will not stand aside again and allow "evil to flourish" because of my inaction. I have written these things in hope that it will help to validate the feelings of child survivors.

By Lindsey - Former member of WCG

Note by ESN:

To understand how psychologically and physically destructive certain cults are to the children raised in them, read "Children Raised in Cults" (chapter 22) in Captive Hearts; Captive Minds and "Children and Cults" (chapter 17) in Recovery From Cults.  

Footnotes:

1 False cognitive scripts were deeply engrained in children's minds.

2 The WCG for many years told their members to follow The Plain Truth About Child Rearing, a dreadful booklet written by Garner Ted Armstrong. Abusive and controlling offshoots of WCG continue to follow the same principles. (Update: GTA died of pneumonia at age 73 on 9-15-03.)

3 Dean Blackwell was still in the WCG when he died on April 14, 2003 as a result of strokes.

4 This practice has continued in the controlling WCG offshoots, such as PCG. Read Letter by Amy Flurry (wife of Stephen Flurry) showing she planned to spank her infant daughter.

Remember the Children  (shows how important children are and how, even at a very young age, they can understand the gospel and come to Jesus)

How to Recover After Exiting a Deceptive, Abusive Group

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