I feel attacked. I feel chastised. I feel devalued. I feel like you suffocated my screams. It took away my dignity because you attacked me, not what I was saying. You don't understand. I need to scream out the hurting I feel. I feel like I'm going to explode sometimes from being filled up with anger and fear and pain. That cult nearly killed every part of me. Can't you understand??? They brainwashed me! They killed my family! They humiliated and degraded me and they stole my life!! How can I not shout to the world the injustice and defeat that I feel? It's not fair what I went through and it's even more unfair that nobody even cares. I'm just supposed to quietly die off for the good of the "new changes." I'm not supposed to make waves because everybody is counting on the new and improved WCG to be some shining example of redemption. 

You're all clinging to the hope that holding up the WCG as an example of "Christ intervening in people's lives" will be a magnet to attract new believers. Believers in what? That the watered down, popular Christianity of today is going to save people? I feel like I'm being tortured from the inside out. Nobody hears me and believes how badly I was affected by my life in that destructive, evil cult. No one wants to hear the tales of agony from people like me--so they don't have to address it. You work for organizations that want to help people in cults, but even you can't face up to the truth of what happens to people in there. You whitewash it. You minimize. You tried to quiet me and you took my voice!!!! 

You say you understand how badly I hurt and then you tell me I'm "over-reacting." How could you say that? How could you tell me my feelings and emotions are inappropriate? What in the *#! is an appropriate response to the attempted murder of my soul??? Every relationship and memory I have of my life is twisted around the lies they planted in my mind! I have no mind and you tell me I'm reacting excessively??? You hurt me! You are one more person who tells me I'm wrong and that I'm stupid. You didn't listen!!! Nobody listens!!! People close their ears when they hear us crying. They cover their eyes and they're blind. People just step over the bodies and pretend they didn't see them. Why doesn't anybody care what happened to thousands and thousands of people?? They hold the WCG leaders up and praise them while they slam the door on the rest of us and hope we will all quietly die. There's no true God in the WCG now and there never was.

I keep envisioning myself running out of your presence after talking to you--running into the woods and grabbing a stick and hitting a tree with it as hard as I can. Over and over again and screaming at the top of my voice, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!" And then finally falling to my knees in tears and helplessness. You don't understand..........

By Roxanne - Child Survivor of WCG

Research Articles on Worldwide Church of God (Are there reasons to remain skeptical of their new changes?)

Poems/Free Verse/Comfort in Music (comfort for survivors of abuse; no audio)

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