| I have been surviving a childhood built
around the
Worldwide Church of God.
That has been the struggle of the last two
years--learning to be a survivor. I would like to share some of my
experiences with those who are only just beginning their struggle. If
you were raised in these Armstrong groups, it's a struggle that rips at the seams of your very
soul, but there is hope and there is a power greater than
yourself that will give you strength during the worst of it.
I spent most of my life on the
verge of something--on the verge of growing up, but not able to
make that leap into a joyous life that I could see others around me
living. I lived my life in fear and it was ingrained in me from the very
beginning. Every hope was a struggle because I felt guilty for wishing
for good things for myself. Every challenge was frightening because I
never learned to believe in my own instincts or talents. Those feelings
are the hallmarks of a victim1, whether it's of abuse, crime or an
abusive system.
The key to understanding a mind
manipulating group is fully realizing you were victimized
and used for someone else's purposes and to fully feel the anguish and
anger that come with that realization.
In the beginning of my recovery
process, I hated the word "victim." To me it felt like a label
that described me as weak. I've struggled with the meaning of that word
for a long while now and I've come to think of my "label" of
victim in a new light. It no longer means that I am weak, but instead
means that I carry with me battle scars from a battle that I have won.
Make no mistake, overcoming this is a battle, but you can win.
I began my recovery journey two
years ago with the help of the most special person I have ever known.2 My
life has taken a new path since that time and I am now able to say
without the least trace of fear that I was a victim of the WCG and I
have survived.
I've often thought what
is the one thing I would say to a survivor of these groups if I had the chance to
make a difference? There's so many things I could say, but the most
important is to learn the truth of what you were involved in. Read the
OIU
Newsletters
and other articles and do your research. Read the Word of God3 and really
listen to what it says. Pray for
discernment and ask every question you can think of. Never stop asking
questions and never accept something as truth that you cannot compare
with
the Bible and be confident in the answer. Most of all, find someone to
support you who believes in the true Jesus and who believes in you. You will never find someone as close to you as the
person who willingly walks with you while you change your entire outlook
on life and God. God gave me someone like this to walk beside me as I
began to heal, and He can find someone for
you if you ask Him. Unlocking the fear that has strangled me all my life has given me
the freedom to fly--out of a destructive group, into life and able
to love.
Rochelle - Child
Survivor of WCG
February 19,
2003
Read: A
Child Survivor's Journal (written by this author)
Footnotes by ESN:
1 Some
prefer the word "target" instead of "victim." Tim Field,
author of Bully in Sight has this to say: "The
word 'victim' allows disingenuous people to tap into and stimulate other
people's misconceptions and prejudices of victimhood. 'Target' correctly
identifies that it is the choice of the bully to bully, it is not the choice of
the target to be targeted."
2 Read her
2002 letter to ESN:
Had to Learn to Trust
Before Seeing a Professional Counselor
3
Many child survivors of apocalyptic
Bible-based cults are unable to
read the Bible for a long time, due to triggers (See:
Common Spiritual Difficulties
After a High Demand Group. They may be able to read other books that
present Jesus in a restful way, but this should not be rushed. Read:
How to Recover After Exiting a Deceptive, Abusive Group
|
"When the door of happiness
closes, another opens: but often we look so long at the closed door that
we do not see the one that has opened for us."
~Helen
Keller
|
Indications
of Recovery For an Abuse Survivor
Booklist
(includes titles of books on spiritual and emotional abuse)
Back to Articles For Child Survivors
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