Learning to Say "No"
 

Learning to say "no" after growing up abused in a deceptive, controlling religious group is not easy. Here are some helpful points.

Why Do You Say "Yes" When You Want to Say "No"?
 

  1. You want to be liked or accepted.

  2. It makes you feel you are a good person for doing for others.

  3. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

  4. What would the family think?

  5. You want the other person to feel obligated.
     

You have a Right to Say "No" 

  1. When your priorities do not go along with the request.

  2. When the person can do it themselves.

  3. When it’s against your values and judgments.

  4. If you would feel bad doing it.

  5. If it would hurt you or someone else.

  6. If the demand is inappropriate.

  7. If you just don’t want to do it.

  8. If the request is inconsiderate to you or others.

Do Philadelphia Church of God Husbands Abuse Their Wives? (Good article to help in recognizing an abusive and non-abusive relationship; also shows examples of healthy behavior in a marriage)
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