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Learning to say "no"
after growing up abused in a deceptive, controlling religious group is not easy. Here
are some helpful points.
Why Do You Say "Yes" When You Want to Say "No"?
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You want to be liked or
accepted.
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It makes you feel you
are a good person for doing for others.
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You don’t want to hurt
anyone’s feelings.
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What would the family
think?
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You want the other
person to feel obligated.
You have a
Right to Say "No"
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When your priorities do
not go along with the request.
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When the person can do
it themselves.
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When it’s against your
values and judgments.
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If you would feel bad
doing it.
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If it would hurt you or
someone else.
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If the demand is
inappropriate.
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If you just don’t want
to do it.
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If the request is
inconsiderate to you or others.
Do
Philadelphia Church of God Husbands Abuse Their Wives?
(Good article to help in recognizing an abusive and non-abusive
relationship; also shows examples of healthy behavior in a marriage)
Human Rights for Those in Intimate Relationships
Booklist
(includes titles of books on spiritual and emotional abuse)
Back to Articles For Child Survivors
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