When we base our worth on what other people think, we will always feel like we are not measuring up, and we will not be able to avoid feeling depressed and rejected when people in our life leave us or let us down. It is so easy to base our happiness on others and how they are acting towards us and to think that if we behave "thus and thus," then people will love us, and if we don't, they will end up turning from us.

When you can look inside yourself and really see with new eyes that valuable, unique child that had talents and gifts and love to offer, then you can come to have proper love for yourself (which was something you never could do growing up). You can then see that you really are "worth it" and whatever dreams and goals you may hope to achieve are not "selfish," but normal. Your happiness doesn't depend on how someone acts towards you; it depends on how you feel about yourself.

As you begin to comprehend this, you will grasp that the true God loves you even more. He says:

"I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." ~ Jeremiah 31:3

Then the understanding will come that it doesn't matter how hard you try and how much you do, God accepts you because of what Jesus has already done for you. Your worth now can be based on His unfailing love and acceptance that never changes, because He never changes. When you make mistakes, or even slip and fall, you can always go to Him and He will raise you up. You need not feel that you are a failure just because someone else became disappointed in you. You can relax in His love, knowing you can never be a failure in Him. Today when you live, you can live for Him. The love you have for others can come as a result of His love formed within you. When you embrace His grace, He works in your life and helps you to grow.

Seeing that hurting, lonely child that was you in childhood and how precious you were in God's sight, and how much more you could have contributed and offered, allows you to see a glimpse of yourself that you never saw before. You will be able to love that part of you that was innocent and undeserving of any abuse inflicted on you. You will see that you could have blossomed if you hadn't been hindered and squelched and put down. But you will also see that this part of you is still alive. It just needs to be set free so you can become happy. The true Jesus is there for you and wants you to come to Him. He will help you to become truly free and complete in Him.¹

The following shows that your Heavenly Father wanted you, even if no one else did. He thought of you lovingly from the very second of your conception. Notice David's words (which can be your words):

"My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

"Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

"How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

"If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee." ~ Psalm 139:15-18

Jesus can take all the tragedies and intense pain that you have suffered and turn it around into something good for you. That's beyond the pain and the disappointment that you are experiencing at the present. His love for you will never fail.

By D. W.
Exit & Support Network™
February 3, 2004
Updated August 2, 2006

Footnotes:

¹ Colossians 2:10

My Position in Christ (accepted and secure forever)

Poems/Free Verse/Comfort in Music (comfort for survivors of abuse; no audio)

An End to Guilt (Excellent message that focuses on the unconditional love of God and gives a clear understanding of grace)

How to Recover After Exiting a Deceptive, Abusive Group

A Healthy Self-Concept For a Christian (several points to consider)

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