I am twenty years old; born and raised in the WWCG. I can't tell you how deeply the stories and articles on your website have affected me. I have suffered from manic depression since my family finally left that "church." I needed help, and it took me seven years to even recognize why I was so emotionally destroyed. I couldn't bring myself to really blame any of my emotional distress on the WCG. I was afraid, and I still am. I fear memories of my childhood, and I feel sick to my stomach even when I remember the happiest moments of it. Just because I correlate them with the "church."

My daughter is a joy beyond description, and I can only say that she is the only reason I've wanted to live for the last year and a half. I finally decided that it was time for me to face it all. I've never given my pain a voice before now, and I really don't know where to start. I truly cannot afford counseling or therapy, and as you probably know, discussing my pain with my family will be more likely to hurt than heal me. Even being near my father makes me feel anxious and somewhat worthless. He is a wonderful man, but he has retained so much of the attitude of the ministers of the WWCG (without even meaning to), that interacting with him is like a punishment at times. Basically, I need some advice. I pray, and I am even frightened when I do that! I wonder if what I say is worded correctly and respectfully enough, and I tend to keep my prayers very brief simply because of that discomfort. I need the Lord so desperately, and yet I feel as if I'm a broken remnant of a person; and somehow I cannot find my way to Him.

By Julie - Child Survivor of WCG
June 23, 2002

Note from ESN: Read: It's Hard to Get Close to God After Being in Philadelphia Church of God (also applicable for child survivors of WCG) and Poems/Free Verse/Comfort in Music (comfort for survivors of abuse; no audio)

Articles For Those Who Were Emotionally and Spiritually Abused

Back to Stories and Testimonies From Child Survivors