Here is a list of WCG memories:

I, too, remember being spanked when I did something my parents did not approve of, which was a lot. (I guess that shows the spanking really didn't work.) One year at the Feast of Tabernacles the minister warned the congregation not to spank their children at the site because they might be reported for child abuse--although he said there was nothing wrong with this form of discipline. I remember my father being incensed on this encroachment on his parental rights.

I also remember sitting for those 2 hour long services every day during the Feast, and how boring it was. On the 1st and last day and the Saturday during the Feast we had to sit through two of those 2 hour services in one day!! It was torture. I also remember the mother's area for diaper changes and discipline. Funny how the men couldn't change diapers or take the kids out.

I remember thinking that the end time was near when I was 14, and I fully expected not to grow up. I wondered if I was going to spend eternity as a scrawny, ungainly teenager. I never did plan for college because I never did plan on getting there. Imagine my surprise when I grew up!!

I remember not being able to go to any high school dances because they were
on Friday nights, missing out on Homecoming because it was on Saturday, being
pulled out of all of the holiday parties (oh no, it's Pagan!!!), and not being allowed to date until I was 18. I started sneaking around, dating one boy when I was 16. Of course I was caught. My parents still bring up how I was sneaking around that one time. Maybe if the rules weren't so strict, I wouldn't have had to sneak around!! I think that the age of 18 is too old to start dating. I think you run the risk of being socially gawky. I started dating my husband at 18, and fortunately he is the exact opposite of a WCG male. He is kind, supportive, thoughtful, funny, smart, patient, thinks for himself, and is open-minded. We have been together for 12 years and have been very happy.

I remember that one sermon around 1988 in Baltimore, Maryland when this minister
told us that women were the "property of men." He said that when a boy kisses
a girl, he is "stealing" from the father. I suppose the boy lowers our property value!! He said that fathers should hold their daughters a lot so they don't seek affection from boys. (I think that was really weird. Holding therapy? ) He went on to expound that the woman had to listen to the husband, because God made him the head over her. I had a hard time with this, because some of the men in my church were Neanderthals. Another time a minister advocated spanking a wife!!

My father used to preach a lot to his sisters and his families, and it was rather unpleasant. They called him "the preacher man" behind his back. When my cousins misbehaved, my aunt threatened to send them to our house to live, and my cousins ended up complying!! It was painful later to find out that our extended family knew how awful our home life was, yet no one stuck up for my sister and me.

When I told my parents at 15, I didn't want to be in the church anymore, my father grabbed me and wrestled me to the floor, and held me down. My mother told me that if I didn't comply, that they would send me to a juvenile home for girls because they couldn't handle me. I cried all night and ended up groveling and begging for forgiveness so they wouldn't send me away.

I tried to kill myself with aspirin (early teens), and my mom caught me throwing up. I didn't have to go to the hospital. She said she knew I was unhappy with church, but I only had a few years left to go, then I could leave. We didn't go to counseling or anything. My sister tried to kill herself when she was 17, and she did end up in the hospital for 3 days. She graduated that spring, ran away from home, and ended up in the army. She is doing well now, putting herself through college.

I'm sure there was more unnecessary unpleasantness that I could relate, but this is enough. My life is good now. My in-laws are nice people and my husband has supported my education, and I make a nice living. My parents are in the Philadelphia Church of God, and I try to stay away from them as much as possible.

Thanks so much for the website!!

By Debbie - Child Survivor of WCG
June 8, 2002

Articles For Those Who Were Emotionally and Spiritually Abused

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