I was
brought up in WCG, UK from the age of 3. At the
age of 10 we moved down to the Bricket Wood area and was given the
"great blessing to which I should be thankful" of attending Imperial
School for 4 years. So all the teachings and way of life was extremely
regimented. We were right next to Ambassador College and attended
services and social occasions there. I lived in the WCG culture, and
didn't associate with anyone outside this. I didn't grow up with
aunties, uncles, cousins, or grandparents, as my family cut themselves
off from them. I didn't have "outside" friends, only those in the
"church" and Imperial School and
SEP
[Summer Educational Camp].
I attended
SEP on three separate occasions, first being when I was 11, 13 and 15.
I not only lived the WCG life at home, I lived it was SEP and school. I was "paddled" at SEP, Imperial School and on a daily basis at home by
my very strict parents. Corporal punishments were "en vogue" at that
time, and is what I received from parents, teachers and counsellors/staff
at SEP which was extremely embarrassing and humiliating. No praise or
love shown, only punishments, guilt and fear.
I
continued to stay with WCG and married
someone with the same background as me and raised 2
children in WCG, although things were changing slightly by the 80's and
90's. I tried to live as a good Christian wife and mother and was very
much involved in my local church, as this is how I would be accepted. I
became a "Stepford Wife," never questioned, caused problems, or voiced
my opinion, as it was "wrong" to do so. I didn't associate with the
"outside world."
I later
left my
husband, and was ostracised by people I had known all my
life. I was no-one! It was as if I hadn't existed.
It has
been very difficult to integrate myself into the real world. I don't fit
in, and I have deep, emotional problems which I'm working on. But
after 30+ years of WCG, it is difficult not to act and feel the way I do
because my reactions are those I learnt as a child and I'm still trying
to deal with them. Making new friends is difficult and I tend to "lose"
them after a while because "I'm not normal." This has such an
intense bereavement reaction and can take months to come to terms with
and let go.
I have no
real relationship with my sisters and brother. They left WCG when
they were teenagers. I was different and stayed with the "church." We are not a close family.
I seem to
have lost people all my life because of my life-style. I am no longer
part of any church and haven't been for the past 8 years.
I wish you
all love and support.
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