| I stumbled across your page
because I decided to look and see if there was any information about
Herbert W. Armstrong on the Internet. I was quite in awe when I saw all
of the information. I am 55 years old and when I was around 5-6 years
old, my mother became a follower of HWA. (My dad went along with it).
From that time on, we never had another Christmas tree, never celebrated
Easter; I heard about how so many Christian traditions were pagan, etc.
Well, I could go on and on. I just never even thought about anyone else
having scars and feeling misplaced from the association with this
"church" that HWA seemed to be God himself in. I was told over
and over "Armstrong says" until I thought that God was
revealing himself only through HWA.
Fortunately, I didn't grow up
in California, so there was no local church we could attend. In the
first place, both of my parents had been previously married when they
were quite young. They met in 1943, got married to each other in 1944,
and were together over 50 years (until my father died 8 years ago). The
first person I saw from this "Radio Church of God"1 was when
two men came over to baptize my parents. When they found out that both
of my parents had been previously married and divorced, they refused to
baptize them into the WCG.
My mom kept following
Armstrong, up until about 5 years ago, when I noticed her listening to
other ministers on television. My parents tithed to WCG since I was
probably about 6 years old. They faithfully tithed well over 40 years. I
wasn't subjected to the church meetings and having to go to all ends for
traditional feast days, etc., but I was very deprived in that all the
Christian holidays were not celebrated. We did not have a Christmas tree
(the last one I remember I think I was in kindergarten). My birthday is
December 20th, and my mom would tell me that the gifts I got were for my
birthday--not Christmas. She made that very clear. When the other kids
in school would tell what they got for Christmas, I would just act like
my birthday gifts were my Christmas gifts. I kept it all inside myself.
I wasn't physically abused, and probably was quite fortunate that they
would not let my parents "officially" join the church.
I have suffered with feelings
of being left out, being different than everyone else, having to always
be nice to people and let them run over me so they would like me, being
an outcast, not fitting in anywhere (no matter how hard I try). I have
suffered from clinical depression since I was 10 years old. I have been
on medication for 13 years now, and am doing much better with regard to
depression). The list goes on and on. I never thought there was anyone
else out there that went through this. I'm just starting to read your
articles and it is giving me comfort in that I'm not alone.
To make it worse, I was an only
child, so there weren't even other kids in my family I could talk with
about this. I would never want to make my mom feel bad, because I know
in her heart she thought HWA was right. She is in a nursing home now and
has dementia. She probably doesn't even remember who the man is. I wish
I didn't remember. I have suffered emotionally from this WCG. I didn't
plan for or go to college because I was sure the world would come to an
end before I could graduate anyway. I didn't even put money in my 401K
plans for retirement (I've worked almost constantly since 1966) because
I didn't think the world would last long enough for me to retire. I
always hated it when someone would ask me what religion I was. I would
say
Worldwide Church of God and they would look at me like I was from
another planet. They were clueless what that church was. The only time I
can remember my parents and I attending a church service together was
one Saturday in a Jewish synagogue (while we were visiting a friend of
my dad's).
I decided that my kids were
going to have a church home and attend church so they wouldn't have the
feelings of being left out and different, like I always had. I have
attended Baptist, Catholic, Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal, and
now a Lutheran Church (of which I'm a member now).
I still have this awful
gut-feeling that I will be punished for attending a "worldly
religion."2 It is like something a
person just can't get out of their system. It haunts me every day. I
hope that I can find some answers and some comfort from your website and
I thank you for giving me this information. It is a long, long time
coming, but I finally found it.
By
Angelica - Child Survivor of WCG
April 21, 2003
Footnotes by ESN:
1 Radio Church of God was renamed
Worldwide Church of God in 1968.
2
WCG programmed child survivors (and members) with the fear of being
punished if they attended another church besides WCG (the "only true
church"). However, Scripture reveals that there is no condemnation for
those who are in Christ Jesus. He loves us, accepts us and wants the
best for us.
Articles
For Those Who Were Emotionally and Spiritually Abused
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