| I was born and raised in
Worldwide Church of God
(1967) so I went through all the really strict years of women not being
able to wear makeup and having to only wear pants that had zippers on
the side and the back (because zippers that zipped in the front were for
men only). And because of that extreme experience, I feel that there
many times is a marked difference between what we "old timers"
experienced and what some of the kids experienced who came into the
church in the 80's and beyond. Many of them think I'm complaining when I
tell them how bad it was so it's refreshing to find a site like this
that validates where we've been and what we went through.
My battle lately has been with
reclaiming my family and searching for a church I can worship at that
can combine the elements I missed out on growing up (mainly, praising
God openly without being only about emotion and not enough teaching).
There was a definite time when my father (who was an ordained minister
in WCG and is still a minister in a splinter group) while we were
growing up, told us, "we will no longer be going over to your
uncle's house anymore on the weekends, the church is our family."
From that time on, my brother's and my relationship with our cousins,
aunt and uncle have never been the same.
After graduating from
Ambassador College, I started a process of reconciliation with them. We
were so close growing up and it was devastating to my brother and I to
just be ripped from their fellowship because my dad thought he wanted to
follow his church so closely and stay away from "the world."
I've since apologized to my cousins for my dad's behavior and vowed to
always stay close with them. But I have even fallen down on that. With
me being so influenced to be so close to church folks at the expense of
my family, it's a real struggle to naturally reach out to them. I've
been so groomed to reach out to church folk I grew up with that it's
become a real habit now. I fight really hard to get some balance, but
it's a real struggle, because we (who grew up in WCG) had so much in
common, such as dealing with the control issues that we all had to
face.
I feel like a weirdo sometimes
talking about some of these things to people who haven't gone through
this and at the same time, I need their help to help me get some balance
in my life. I never knew what it was like to receive birthday presents
(I had my first birthday cake at age 30). So now when my boyfriend has
his birthday party and receives his presents, my natural reaction is
"ok, ok, what's the big deal, it's only a birthday, enough
already!" But, in reality, that's how the rest of the world viewed
birthdays. We were just the weird ones! I always wanted to celebrate
Christmas and I finally am now. But I still have adjustments to make
with that too, such as the things my friends and boyfriend's family
think I should just know about when it comes to Christmas tradition and
I don't. I'm playing catch up in my life at age 36 and it feels weird.
Thankfully, I surround myself with supportive and understanding people
and leave the "riff raff" behind.
My biggest struggle now is
praying that my sick father and my brother reconcile before it's too
late. My brother has some real issues with my dad, things my dad should
have apologized for and made amends for years ago, but he stands by the
mindset that "he did the best he could in raising us and he's not
to blame for anything." It's amazing how a church with twisted
doctrine could come between flesh and blood, but it's scary to see
because I'm witnessing it in my own family and in the families of my
friends who are going through the same struggle.
By Anna - Child
Survivor of WCG
November 18, 2003
Articles
For Those Who Were Emotionally and Spiritually Abused
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