| My sister and I are survivors of
Herbert W. and Garner Ted Armstrong. I have had psychological and
psychiatric care since I was 6 years old. My mother was a member of the
"church" until about 6 years before her death. And at that
point she began following Benny Hinn. The "Worldwide
Church of God" broke my
parents marriage apart and years later I found out that marriages
outside of the "church" were invalid and that a divorce would
be allowed in the eyes of "God" on that basis only. So my
sister and I became "bastards" at that point. That is a nice
concept when forced down your throat. My sister, who still has lingering
problems of self worth and abuse, and self loathing, and I have recently
rekindled our friendship and familial bond. Because of lies that my
mother told my sister and me about each other, my sister and I did not
speak to each other for 20 years. And what we were told, by my mother,
turned out to be lies. She didn't want us to talk together for some odd
reason. Oh yes, I remember why. I am a sinner in the eyes of
"God." Yeah, that's it. So who isn't? I was not Hitler.
You seem to know all the
"doctrine facts" so you know what my sister and I endured as
children in the "Cult of God." I left my mother and the
"churches" on hands domination over me when I was 17.
I am still under psychiatric
care, am on medication for severe depression, and have attempted suicide
4 times. I am 47 years old. If I could sue those "Christian
Nazi's" I would do it in a minute!
I did not speak to my mother
from age 25 until two years before she died. She started sending me
birthday and Christmas cards. (My birthday is in December.) I never got
a card for my birthday until I was 45 years old, although she expected a
mothers day card. She didn't get one after I turned 25. I have a lot of
pent up anger and hostility to this day about that! I never cared for
and still do not care about Xmas, but my birthday is different!!!
I told here that it was too
late to try to repair our relationship and that I forgave her, but would
never be able to forget. She asked for my forgiveness. I told her not to
communicate with me, ever. I told her not to send me birthday and Xmas
cards because it only re-opened my wounded heart. To this day, Xmas and
my birthday are the most depressing time of the year for me. I celebrate
my birthday, but it is still a sad day for me. My mother died last
summer, 3 days after I spoke to my sister for the first time in 20
years.
It has taken me 30 years to
recover to a reasonable level of endurable, human consciousness. I still
have major problems interacting with others. Especially "Christian
types." At this point I am getting much better, but my sister is a
mess. She needs professional help but cannot afford it and she is scared
that she will be taken away and locked up. I try to help her the only
way that I know of and that is with kind words and just being here for
her. That was something our mother would not do for us. Because we were
"sinners in the eyes of "God" we suffered without any
positive input from our mother, only criticism. I only took so much and
then I said adios. I still had to live without a family, until now. Now
I have my baby sister. My sister told me that the only reason she is not
dead is because of my support of her. She needs help!!! More than I know
how to give. I am not a psychiatrist. But I do give her advice from my
own experiences. She is improving, gradually.
If I had not been stubborn and
determined to use my extensive array of talents, be myself and have the
love of and for music, I would not be here today.
If anyone there could suggest
to my sister, a place where she could interact with others like her about these issues and their affect on her,
please let me know.
Thank you for listening. We
are out there and we are strong! Keep your head together if you can. I'm
glad I finally found a place to go where others are available to listen
and understand. I feel better just knowing that!
It can be a very lonely road.
Keep your heads up and keep
moving forward!
Much love and peace to you all!
By Brad - Child
Survivor of WCG
May 22, 2003
Note from ESN: This survivor has
been referred to qualified professionals who have an understanding of abusive,
high demand groups and
who should be able to help his
sister. It is possible to recover with proper support from those who
understand abusive religious cults and the resulting trauma that most often ensues.
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