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Exiters who
raised children in the church of God organizations are faced with many
challenges, and whether to observe Christmas is one of them. Celebrating
Christmas was never an option while in the organization, and
conscientious parents made sure their children were "trained"
to avoid this holiday like the plague. We knew parents who diligently
taught their children that Christmas was "pagan," the
Christmas tree was "an abomination," and "Santa
Claus" was really "Satan Claus" cleverly disguised.
Parents would speak to school teachers, informing them that their
children were not participate in school plays, parties, or gift
exchanges. Relatives would be informed that participation in family
celebrations was no longer an option. Parents truly believed they were
honoring God by doing these things.
When we left
the Worldwide
Church of God, we had two small children. For years, we avoided
"family celebrations"; however, we would attend a "family
dinner" on Christmas Eve "out of respect" but would leave
immediately afterwards. Our relatives were careful to not give us gifts,
or else they would wrap them in non-Christmas paper and we would take
them home and open them up a week later. We were determined not to
compromise our beliefs, and even though our relatives went out of their
way to be kind, there was still a great sadness that hung in the air
when we left. They felt the pain of never getting to see their little
grandchildren celebrate Christmas together as a family. Both my in-laws
passed away before we exited the WCG, never being able to experience the
joy of their grandchildren celebrating Christmas.
After exiting,
my husband and I still were not comfortable with Christmas, even though
we knew the WCG was a "cult" and Herbert
Armstrong
had lied. We did not have a tree
that first year, but when we got together with relatives for the
Christmas Eve dinner, we stayed and allowed the kids to exchange and
open presents. I have pictures of this joyful event. My kids adjusted
fine. It was more my discomfort that persisted. It was a mixture of
grief for having denied them Christmas, and confusion over my previous
convictions. Hadn't I proven that Christmas was wrong? What
exactly did I prove that I based such intense convictions? Thus
began our family journey away from cult isolation and into the light of
truth.
It was a
gradual process to bring Christmas back into our family. The following
year, the kids wanted to know if we were going to have a nice tree
"like Aunt Sharon's." I bought a small tree and put it out
on the back deck. I let the kids decorate it with popcorn strings and
pinecones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed. I told the kids that we
were giving the birds a Christmas gift. Even though the kids enjoyed
watching the birds eating from the tree, I still couldn’t bring myself
to allow a tree into the house, mostly out of fear. I was afraid that
God would be so displeased with me for allowing an "idol" in
my house, and I was especially afraid that something bad would happen to
my kids if I did. I was getting tired of the fear. That's when I decided
to get "educated" about Christmas. Was it really as bad as Herbert
Armstrong
said? When I realized that he purposely "poisoned" my mind, so
that I would completely reject it by focusing on the "spending,
drinking, going into debt, etc," it suddenly occurred to me how he
never focused on Jesus! That was a huge revelation for me. Once I
focused on Jesus and His love for us, and quit focusing on what HWA said, and
his critical antagonism, my life began to change (for the better!).
During this process, I discovered that Christians do not go into debt,
worship their Christmas trees, get drunk, and all the other sins HWA
made us believe. Yes, some do, but many don't (of course, HWA wouldn’t
focus on that). Christians also go to church and sing hymns, and worship
and glorify God for sending us our wonderful Savior! They give out food
for the poor, and gifts to underprivileged children. I can't imagine HWA
stooping to do anything kind for anyone (unless there was some big $$$
involved).
The following
Christmas, I put up a tree in the living room. I told my kids, "We
used to believe that celebrating Christmas was wrong, but now we know
better. Some people believe this (and then I give HWA's arguments) but
now I understand much better that he was wrong." Then I explain the
correct view while adding, "I know we didn't used to do this when
you were young, but when I realized I was wrong, I decided I was going
to change that." My husband and I still don't believe or teach
about Santa Clause--nor do we call him "Satan" Clause, or any
such foolishness. I told the kids about St. Nicholas, after whom Santa
is supposedly patterned. We discussed the commercialism of Christmas,
and told them that we didn’t have to buckle to the pressure of
overspending. The dollar amount spent was no reflection of the amount of
love one should feel. Spending money to gain approval is clearly wrong.
We taught the kids to set a spending limit and stick with it. We use
this time of year as an opportunity to teach our children proper giving.
We teach them by our actions that drunkenness does not have to be a part
of our celebrations (nor alcohol for that matter). We also chose not to
emphasize Santa in our holiday celebrations. We tell them that their
relatives buy them all those nice gifts and we are to thank them for
sending them. They should get the credit, and not some mythical person.
We tell them that some people enjoy the "magic of Santa" but
it's just not for us. As our kids got older, we explained that the
verses in Jeremiah are referencing idol worship and not the Christmas
trees. We use Christmas as an opportunity to "cult-proof" our
kids by letting them know that most cults avoid Christmas so they can
avoid focusing on Jesus. We also open our home to those who have
nowhere to go. We invite people over for dinner so they don't have to
be alone.
I think as each
year went by, we tried to focus as much on Jesus as we could. I realized
that Jesus observed the festival of Hanukkah (He was in the temple
during the Festival of Lights). Hanukkah celebrates the ousting of
Antiochus Epiphanes and the pagans from the temple, and how the temple
was cleansed. The temple was overrun on December 25th (which HWA and
other cult groups will point out), but what they don't tell us is that
exactly 3 years later, the Jews succeeded in reclaiming the temple (Kislev
25), so there is biblical basis for the observation of Dec. 25th.
It wasn't just a pagan date. Christmas is not as pagan as Herbert Armstrong tried to make it.
Jesus wasn't ever in HWA's Christmas because he didn't want Him to be.
We have slowly
evaluated and added meaningful traditions to our family. We realized
that Christmas can be as complicated or as simple as one desires. As I
dealt with each issue, I prayed for the Lord's guidance to help me. We
concentrate on what's important--Jesus our Lord--and that He came as our
Savior.
Let the Lord
Jesus lead your heart at this time of year (something that HWA would
never allow us to do). Know that all you do in love honors Him!
By Lindsey
Exit & Support Network™
December 7, 2004
Also read:
It's Been Hard to Observe Christmas Again.
If
what HWA taught was false, should we go back to observing "pagan"
holidays? (Q&A)
Recommended article:
Remember the Children
(shows how children, even at a very
young age, can understand the true gospel and come to Jesus)
WCG
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