| Once a person leaves the
WCG,
they usually spend time reflecting over the past and grieving the
losses. I know it helped me write down things that I experienced during
our 11+ years in the WCG. Here's a list I had complied:
1. I regret that I was in my
early 20's when I first entered the WCG. I was at that beginning of my
career, but because we were "fleeing to the
Place of Safety,"
I did not pursue nor finish my schooling.
2. I regret that I had my
orthodontics removed because it was considered vanity. Besides, we were
going to the Place of Safety, so why waste the time and money?
3. I regret all the time I
spent cooking on Fridays (and Thursdays when sundown came earlier
because of Daylight Savings Time and I had to work), so I could spend
all day Saturday eating it and making sure I wasn't "working"
on the Sabbath.
4. I regret all the times that
my relatives went out of their way to accommodate my beliefs, yet I did
not want to "compromise" mine. They would send us Christmas
presents wrapped in plain or non-Christmas type paper. I would send them
nothing--not even a card.
5. I regret all the times that
my relatives sent me birthday gifts and cards, and I sent them nothing.
I did not want to encourage their behavior. I believed Armstrong when he
said that we were not to celebrate our birthdays because "only
sinners did." He failed to quote any substantial Scriptures that
would back up this doctrine, but I was so sure that he was "God's
End Time Apostle" that I never questioned it.
6. I regret all the Saturday
barbeques and picnics with my co-workers that I had to turn down. Many
of them were Christians and were very nice people, but I did not want to
break the Sabbath. I had one boss who held an event on Sunday--just so I
could attend--he thought that much of me to go out of his way to do
that. But it was still a shame that a person should feel like they are
sinning for "eating with publicans and sinners."
7. I regret all the meetings I
skipped because I knew they would have birthday cake there. I told them
that I was too busy with a deadline to make it. Someone always brought
me a piece of cake. I would thank them and leave it sit at my desk until
it got stale. I was afraid to eat it. I was sure Satan was tempting me
to compromise.
8. I regret that my kids never
got to celebrate Christmas with their grandparents. They died before we
left the WCG.
9. I regret all the
uncomfortable situations that we put our relatives through during
Christmas. We were told that we could go for the Christmas dinner, but
we couldn't stay and open gifts with them. So right after dinner, we
would leave. It was awkward for us, and hurtful to them. They couldn't
enjoy Christmas either, knowing we weren't there.
10. I regret that all the money
we sent in to Worldwide was never used to
preach the gospel or to help anyone. If that $65,000 had been given to a
Crisis Pregnancy Center, how many abortions could have been prevented?
If
that money had been given to World Vision, how many lives would have
been
saved from starvation? The money that took us over 11 years to scrape
together was nothing but chump change for HWA to throw around. (Read
Jack
Kessler's letter to Worldwide Church of God Board of Directors for
details).
11. I regret the
"friends" I had lost when I left the WCG. These were people I had known for almost the whole time we were in the WCG, who
have not spoken to us since we left. It was very hard to discover that there
never was a true friendship there at all--that these friendships were contingent upon loyalty to a group.
12. I regret that I put these
"friends" in my will, and as legal guardians of my children, instead of my family members. I was so concerned about
my children being raised in "God's True Church" that I never
thought about the trauma that I was bringing into their lives by giving them over to
people they didn't know well, instead of their blood relatives who cared for
them. We also put in our Will for the WCG to get 10% of our estate! Thank God
we didn't die and leave this awful mess for our relatives to deal with.
13. I regret that I didn't
listen to all those people who tried to warn me that I was in a "cult" when I first started attending Worldwide.
14. I regret all that time I
spent studying church literature, organizing and promoting fundraisers, and attending constant church activities,
instead of investing that time building my relationship with my husband.
15. I regret that I had turned
my head the other way when I saw abuses. Harsh discipline toward children, spouse abuse, drunkenness, gossip,
and more. I did nothing to stop it, or to help. I hang my head in shame.
16. I regret that I spent all
those years living a lie. Yes, I had lots of Bible knowledge, but I never had Jesus. I knew what Jesus was going to
do when He returned, but I did not know Him personally. I only knew the
rules of "The Church," and I got behind "The Work," and I automatically took
potshots at those who "rebelled" and discredited anyone who wasn't
loyal.
These are just a few things
that I had to write. The good news is that I now know Jesus, and I know that the Holy Spirit lives in me, and He will
guide me into all truth. God has been faithful. He has held my hand in some of my darkest moments and has brought me to this time of peace and
happiness in my life. I now realize that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit loved me and desired to give me life everlasting.
Yes, I have had a lot of
regrets, and I'm sure there's more than what I've listed, and I have come to see that men with the
man-made rules will
always keep people in darkness. I have spent time grieving over my losses, but
what I have gained since leaving the WCG, far outlasts anything I have
lost.
By Lindsey (former WCG member)
October 4,
2003
Note from ESN: It can be very helpful
for exiters to make a list such as the above, and to
also
write about their time
in WCG. Although grieving will come, so can healing.
Poems/Free Verse &
Comfort in Music (comfort for the broken hearted; no audio)
Books: Spiritual Comfort
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