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Sometimes I feel like a crumpled up piece
of paper that someone has rolled up and thrown off into the corner and now I'm
trying to get myself straightened out again. I'm struggling to make sense of
everything spiritual. I keep trying, but I feel like I'm holding on by a string.
What am I supposed to do? Pray more? Study more? Change my attitude and be
positive more? If the answer is "the Lord" [as a Christian told me], then tell
me why it isn't working with me? I'm trying so much to understand what He's
really like and how He really feels about me. The only ones that can really help
are those that validate you and that care about you, someone to sit down and
say, "We care, we're here for you, we're praying, we're with you."
I can't pretend with people that being
in a cult never happened. It feels like
some big black blotch on my life. It can also feel like someone has taken this
sharp knife and taken a big part of my life--important relationships, times,
events, experiences, struggles, and cut it out and threw it far away where I can
never regain it. A great loss. And you are supposed to consider it all useless
and of no concern anymore? A big part of your life--gone forever.
To understand, think of something that
was wonderful, beautiful, that brought happiness, joy and peace. Then picture
finding out it was perpetuated by an evil man who lived just the opposite. And
then try to imagine what that does to your belief system. Plus, when you look
back at the misery, depression and illness that later came to many, you realize
it was caused by such a system.
By D. W.
Exit & Support Network™
1995
Articles For Those Who Were
Emotionally and Spiritually Abused
Back to Abuses Suffered
Index for Personal Writings About the WCG Experience
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