| I'm afraid that if I speak what
is really in my heart, I would just be discouraging. If I expressed the
discouragement and anger that I feel and confusion1, that it would just
drag others down and I don't want to do that.
The big thing about this whole
deal with me and the
Worldwide
Church of God is this: that I
did step out in faith and it
was wrong. I did the best I could do to figure out things about life and
what to believe. And as far as this involvement with the WCG is
concerned, I was wrong, and then I was abandoned once again as I was all
those years ago that contributed to my involvement in it in the first
place. I keep hearing how those who go to cults cut off their families.
In my own case it was the other way around and I went to the cult in
hopes of support and companionship. Of course, I didn't know it was
a religious cult.
I want to share one observation
about those I knew in the WCG, especially those in leadership positions.
I am not speaking now so much of those in the ministry, but those who
"served" in some capacity as a leader in one thing or another. So
many of those I knew like that still attend and have shown pride when
the facts were laid in front of them. Of course, denial is part of the
problem, too, and also I'm sure it's taught to turn away from something
that you had put your service into for so many years. I am speaking of
those I know that still attend. We may be victims in the Worldwide, but
we are also prideful and sinful human beings.
Perhaps it was easier for me to
walk away because I finally heard the stories of abuse and there is no
way I would have given the WCG a second thought if I had known they were
true in the first place. Also, it goes with the territory for them to
cover up and/or minimize things because, after all,
no one is
"perfect." And it was easier for me to walk away because I was a
nobody in there anyway and of no great use in the first place. Just a fool
looking for a relationship with my God. Sincerely, but where I looked
was wrong--and this is the rub for
me--it has undermined my confidence greatly and has discouraged and
angered
me. I sincerely sought truth and was either patronized or lied to. The
question of being a believer has never been the issue at all for me. I
am as I have been from the time of my youth, a believer in God. I don't
know how, but I know God will prevail.
By Andrea
2003
Footnote:
1 Confusion is a
result of the mind control that WCG survivors endured.
Articles For Those Who Were Emotionally and Spiritually Abused
Back to Stories & Testimonies by
Former Members of WCG and Offshoots
|
Home