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My Healing Process is Difficult
I was a member of the
Worldwide Church of God
for 25 years (1972-1997) and am
still in disbelief how I could have been deceived for so
many years. And all that time, we thought every one else
was deceived but us!
The hardest part about healing from this experience has
been forgiving one of the ministers--Mr. B. From the
reading I've done on your site, I guess he was typical of
many of the ministers--a little Hitler. We had a wonderful
minister before him and a wonderful one right
after him, so I guess we were fortunate in that
regard. I'm not even going to try to dredge up all the
horrible experiences we had under Mr. B's "regime" because I
believe that I have come a long way in forgiving him. In
fact, every time I even think of him, or those days, I
immediately ask God to help me to forgive for another day.
I will say that the hardest part of the experience with
him (and his wife was nearly as bad as he was) is that
right before he was transferred across country, he made some
overtures (too little, too late) about mistakes he may
have made so I tried to forget about him and I tried to
trust the new minister coming in that we would have better
treatment. Then about a year later at one of the feast sites I
"heard" from a
member of his congregation that he had had a blow-up with his
elders and deacons and kicked them out of the church. Well, then the bad feelings
came back all over again because I had hoped that he had
learned his lesson and learned to be a shepherd and not a
policeman. I felt very sorry for the poor
people in his new area. I have heard that he is no longer in the ministry
of the WCG and I certainly hope he has totally changed
careers. He had no business trying to lead a flock with
his abusive, military nature.
My husband and I came very, very close to being
disfellowshipped by him one time and from then on, I just
tried to stuff all the bad feelings and not complain to
anyone. I was even too afraid to write to headquarters
because I was sure that when he found out, he would
retaliate in a major way.
I also am still trying to forgive the leadership of the
church--primarily
Herbert W. Armstrong. When I left in 1997, fortunately I
wasn't scarred so badly that I refrained from going to
church anywhere, but at that time (and still 9 years later),
I automatically look at anything I am told in church
through the "lens" of the WCG and their former teachings.
I am so confused on several doctrines of mainstream
Christianity and have decided that God has a plan and knows
what he's doing whether I understand it or not. I guess
it's a minor issue, but I still don't know whether Christians go
immediately to heaven when they die.
I feel so very badly for all of our children who had to
suffer the consequences of our actions in coming to the WCG.
My children are healing but will probably always suffer
some of the effects. It just occurred to me that I need to
ask God to forgive me for unknowingly deceiving them and
keeping them away from "the world" in excess.
Our local
congregation no longer exists and I have
so say I am glad. Many have gone to
United Church of God-AIA, or other
similar legalistic groups. Several have gone to
traditional Christian churches, and I am sad to say that I
know of several that want nothing to do with going to
church. I pray for their healing and that they can find a
healthy church home.
I hope writing this letter will be healing to me and
perhaps someone else. I am not at all angry with God for
"allowing" me to be a part of the WCG and I feel that
perhaps there were lessons I needed to learn, or ways that
I could help others that had similar experiences. God has
been very merciful to me to bring me out of this
experience and I pray for the thousands of others that are
still in WCG, or spin-offs of WCG, that their eyes will be
opened and their healing will start.
By Alyssa
January 12, 2006
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