| I can recall when I left the WCG
that I did not want to go to any church. I needed the space to think
clearly and, of course, mainstream doctrine was very hard for me to
digest at the time. When I did start attending different churches,
it was a tough moment in my life. There are so many legalistic churches
out there. I know there were two that we attended for over a year and I
sunk into such a depression because I felt all I did was trade the WCG
for one that was a "little less" legalistic. It made me mad
that they called us a "cult," when they weren't too far from behaving
the same as the WCG!!
I remember how hard it was to
continue going to churches, but I was afraid that if I didn't do this,
and find a substitute for the WCG, then my dear husband would stay in (with my kids), so I was willing to endure what I had to get them
out. I had been divorced once, and I can remember having those
same thoughts and feelings after exiting. It was so weird to be
grieving over leaving the WCG, and looking for another church at the
same time. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. I can vouch
that the Lord does help us get through when we ask Him to help us (He
knows all the talks He and I had while I was going through this. I was
so angry and hurt).
One of the things that bothered
me was when Christians assumed that all people in the WCG are "headed for
hell." I knew way too many true Christians in there to believe that.1 I
have concluded that there are saved people and unsaved people in all
denominations and I believe that when Jesus was speaking against the
Pharisees, he was speaking against hypocritical church leadership. These are
the people that are supposed to help us find Jesus, but instead, they
heap up all kinds of stupid rules and regulations that He never
required. I know when we were in the WCG we were sincere about
pleasing God,2 and we acted accordingly through our
actions/practices. How Christians choose to worship God is not an
issue with me. What I do make an issue out of is
"exploitation" of innocent people (using
thought
reform, guilt trips, manipulating us, etc.) that has taken us farther and farther from
Him and put an incredible burden on us.
Over the years I’ve learned
now to be patient and let God lead me to where he wants me to be. I also
make sure that the church is accountable to the people, and that there
isn’t any exploitation going on (my #1 requirements), then I see
whether they have orthodox doctrines (whether I believe all of them or
not). What’s important is to know the love and acceptance of the Lord
and leave the responsibility with Him to continue to guide us in the
direction that He sees fit. I don't think exiters should be pushed
into churches. I think a person has to heal, and then determine
whether they want to enter another church again. I've had so many
bad experiences while trying to find a church that sometimes I've
wondered why I even bothered in the first place!!! I feel that
pushing a person into another church is like forcing them to get married
right after they had just gone through a chaotic divorce.
I have finally come to the
point where I accept the main points of true Christianity: that
Jesus is my personal Savior who died on the cross for my sins, and that
He is the Son of God born of virgin birth, and I accept the doctrine of
the Trinity. I know in my heart that I can have my own personal opinions
about things; for example, most Christians have varying degrees of
beliefs about when and how Christ will appear the second time, and they also
have varying opinions about when Creation occurred (6,000 years or
millions), but they all agree that it was God who did the creating). I
know most churches already have their "set"
rules/doctrines/beliefs, which I know I can never change, but I know I
have the joy of Jesus and the freedom which is in Him that nobody can
take away. I think exiters have to reach that point before they
will ever feel comfortable in any church. I know I never felt
comfortable until I could work these things out. Once I did, then it no
longer mattered to me what church I walked into (but it did have to pass
my criteria as far as exploitation).
Today I am in a church that has
a pastor that is humble and balanced, does not exploit the members and
lets me disagree on certain issues; e.g., tithing. I finally had to conclude that the
reason I attend church is for the friendships and the fellowship, and it’s
a way to connect with others--not because I feel that my
salvation is on the line. It took me years to work these feelings out.
Good churches are very hard to find, but they are out there!
After understanding that the
Sabbath is not required for Christians, I never looked back. I truly believe that our
rest is in Jesus, and that He completed everything on the Cross. I
guess that's why things no longer bother me. I know, believe, and am
grateful for what Jesus did, and nobody can shake that from me.
People can have their pet beliefs, or continue in legalism, but I don’t
have to!! I am free to love and not put up barriers. It’s a nice
feeling.
By Kelly Marshall
Read Kelly's first story: Triggers
and Obstacles in Mainstream Churches
Footnotes by ESN:
1
Some members were true Christians before they went into WCG, and they
were most likely drawn to each other.
2
While most members in the WCG felt they were worshipping
"God," the God we were taught about was not the true
God. Neither was their "Jesus" taught as the true Jesus
who was fully God and fully man. This is bore out by the impact the WCG had on those raised
in the WCG and how they find it so
hard today to feel close to God, since they were only taught a
harsh, unloving "God" who was ready to condemn them. This is
spiritual and emotional abuse.
Are
Exiters Are "Out of Fellowship With
God" if They Don't Attend a Church?
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