If you tell them you were "very spiritually abused and controlled," they will reply, "There is a lot of that in the body of Christ today." Even if you add that no one else understood except those that had come from the same, they still don't comprehend because they are talking about something entirely different than you are. If they knew you were talking about a "cult," they would think, "That certainly doesn't happen to one who is a part of the Body of Christ, but we do have those in our Body that were formerly in a cult in their darkened state." If you did tell them you were in a cult, they would think you had to have been deceived by Satan the devil and weren't close to God, or even converted.

So you can't win with them. You fear to open up too much because you know they won't understand (and they usually prove you right), and when you don't open up enough, they downplay your experience and say it's "common." You want to be told you went through a horrible experience; you want to hear them tell you they are sorry for what you went through! I guess you have to try to use stronger words with them like "devastating," "damaging," "traumatizing," and whatever else you can think of to get them to pay attention! But then they will probably just give you a spiritual answer for your feelings and tell you to now move on with your life. It makes you wonder why you even want to take the time and chance to reach out anymore.

By Karina
Exit & Support Network™
1995

Read: How do I tell others I was in a cult? (Q&A)

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