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Many women that were in PCG have admitted that they had to endure some or all of the following abusive and demeaning behaviors. Ask yourself if Jesus Christ ever behaved in such a manner toward women? If you haven't joined PCG yet, stop and think, and investigate the group! The following can apply to those who have suffered abuse in the Worldwide Church of God or in any of the controlling splinter groups. This article will also show examples of healthy behavior in a marriage.
Power and Control Emotional Abuse
Economic Abuse:
Coercion, Threats and Intimidation:
Using Isolation and Control:
Minimizing, Denying and Blaming:
Abuse in authoritative, controlling religious groups is very damaging, yet very real. Husbands who are/have been abusive in their marriages have most often been taught to be this way by the leader of the group. They may think they are only obeying God as they go about enforcing (often violently) the "government of God" in their families, but in reality, they are destroying their wives--and their innocent children--by their degrading, controlling, abusive, unchristian behavior. Much damage can be done by "lording it over" a wife. The word "submit" relative to wives does not mean "obey." "Submit" is a loving word and very mild. It means to "respond" to one's husband. A personal, loving relationship is the basis for submission. The husband is to be the head for the sake of order, but this does not give him the right to be a top sergeant in the home. Christians are under Christ as the "Captain of their salvation," but the relationship is based on love and is not military in any sense of the word. (See: Damaged Disciples by Ron & Vicky Burks, chapter 9, "The Root of the Problem.") The
past cannot be erased. In many cases a divorce, or other tragedy, has
already taken place. Those who are, or have been, engaging in the above kind of behavior must come to see that
believing in the "government of God" and "listening to a
man" (i.e., Gerald Flurry;
Herbert Armstrong, etc.) created this chaos in the first place. Although
the abuser may have been a victim of an abusive childhood, he must realize
he has additionally been deceived by false, perhaps even evil, teachers,
who have no concept of the true meaning of love, and which has made the
situation far worse! (Note: While abuse can
also occur by the wife, this is far less frequent in a hierarchal group
where the husband reigns supreme.) Making the choice to walk away from such a harmful
group, or person, is the first step. Then after coming to understand
what true grace, love and mercy is (and beginning to experience it in our
lives through a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ) lasting healing can
begin to take place. In most cases outside professional intervention is
necessary.
Respect and Love in Healthy Marriages: Respect and Love:
Economic Partnership:
Negotiation and Fairness:
Shared Responsibility and Activities:
Honesty and Forgiveness:
Info compiled by D. W. Recommended Book: The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself by Beverly Engel (Recognize and understand the abusers in your life; identify the patterns that have kept you emotionally trapped; break the cycle of abuse and open yourself to the promise of healthy relationships.) Footnote: 1
Damaged
Disciples by Ron & Vicki Burks, Chapter 9, "The Root of the
Problem," p. 136. Human Rights for Those in Intimate Relationships Speak Out Against Verbal Abuse [offsite link with many good articles] Articles For Those Who Were Emotionally and Spiritually Abused Back to Articles Concerning Philadelphia Church of God
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