Does spanking of babies go on in
Philadelphia Church of God? Yes, and they still highly praise
Garner Ted Armstrong's book
about childrearing and spanking.1 In the PCG's
"insider" magazine, the Royal Vision 2000, they ran a
series of childrearing articles by Ron Fraser. Here are a few quotes,
emphasis theirs, from the May-June 2000 issue.
Many a parent
will be surprised to read that by three months, on average, an infant
is old enough to begin to be taught right behavior by right and proper
training techniques." (p. .8)
"Children simply have to be taught how to control their bodily
appetites and functions. This takes time, diligence of effort,
patience and consistency. Do it right and do it early in the infant's
life, and they and their parents, mothers in particular, will live a
lot calmer, contented, peaceful lives. This will reflect upon the
whole household." (Ibid.)
"How do we do it? Loving, caring, discipline!" (Ibid.)
"Shock! Horror! You mean we adult parents have to impose our will
on the helpless little infant? Yes! That's God's way!" (Ibid.)
As a baby grows into toddler
hood, they are able to understand and cooperate more about "schedules." However, PCG implies the need for rigid schedules and
discipline.
PCG
advocates breastfeeding and healthy foods. For the most part, that's
good. However, some mothers (myself included) have had limited success with breastfeeding due to health
factors.
The author goes on to
talk about the "rod of correction" and how it relates to
spanking:
". . . We have always understood in the Church of God, in respect
of correcting child behavior, that this means a light instrument which
stings when applied but does no physical damage. Mrs. Armstrong used
the table-tennis paddle as an example of an implement which will do no
harm to a child when applied with care and in love. But even that
should never be used till the infant is around two or three years of
age. Light, stinging taps first with fingers on the backside of an
infant, then, as the child grows, carefully, with the hand, should
suffice till then." (p. 10)
"Lesson number
one is, teach the child GOVERNMENT! That's where it starts. Who's boss
around here? Up to the second or third month, the infant gets what he
wants usually when he's good and ready to get it, by simply demanding
it! But, comes the time he demands, doesn't get, and reacts angrily!
Generally, parents should be able to determine an angry baby's cry.
It's time for baby to learn that angry demands are not
acceptable." (Ibid.)
The author includes, "don't
strike in anger" and "be calm when you discipline,"
but from what I've witnessed concerning
discipline in PCG, it tends to be harsh, abusive,
controlling and not done in love most times! In my opinion there may
be
a time to spank for something serious, but many times distraction, or
even a time-out will work.
There should rarely ever be a need
for a baby to be angry! If a parent is attuned to their
baby--and is a responsive, loving parent--they will soon learn hunger
signals, smell the dirty diaper, see the toy they rolled on and can't
get a hold of, etc. A loving parent will see the need coming and
take care of it before the baby even has a chance to be angry and
screaming. I know the times my babies had an angry cry was usually
when I was "tied" up with something because I wanted to get
"whatever" done. Sometimes you may have to let a baby cry a few minutes--it just can't
be helped. But are we supposed to spank a baby, because the baby got mad that I
had to go to the bathroom, or put something in the oven? Of course not!
A tiny baby cries for a reason: to let us know he is hungry, or wet, or even lonely and bored. If a
baby never cried, we would tend to get too involved with our work and "forget" about him/her.
The author has a
comment about
teaching the baby "government." Anyone who has been involved
with PCG knows that government is one of the
"big" subjects in the PCG! For instance, you hear words like, "Put people in their place!"
"Keep 'em down!" "Rule with a rod of iron!" I have heard some
members in PCG talk about the "soon coming kingdom of God"
when they
will be able to "bash
heads" and "teach people God's Law"!
By Marcia (former member of PCG)
October 18, 2002
2006 story by child
survivor who tried to report child abuse in the PCG to the minister.
Letter by Amy Flurry
(wife of Stephen Flurry) showing she planned to spank her infant daughter.
Note by ESN: To read how psychologically and
physically destructive certain cults are to the children raised in them,
read "Children Raised in Cults" (chapter 22) in
Captive
Hearts; Captive Minds and "Children and Cults" (chapter 17) in
Recovery From Cults.
Footnote:
1
The Plain Truth About Child Rearing,
a dreadful book written by
Garner Ted Armstrong. (Update: Garner Ted Armstrong died of
pneumonia at age 73 on September 15, 2003.)
Screaming Sessions at Children in PCG
One former PCG member (12-20-03) described to the police authorities how some
congregations in PCG have engaged in so called "screaming sessions" at
children. This involves taking a child (who has misbehaved or presumably
done something wrong), along with gathering a number of members
together, and then sitting the child on a chair in the middle of the
room and screaming and yelling at the child for a long period of time.
Sometimes these sessions go on for so long that some of the adults have
to take a break and then go back to continue it. This is a
technique that abusive, totalistic
groups have used and is very damaging to any
child!
The January/February 2004 issue
of the Philadelphia News had an article entitled, "The number-one lesson of
family" by Joel Hilliker which talked about how he and his wife were
"working hard" to teach their little two year old daughter to "obey our
instructions exactly, without back talk and without a bad attitude." He
states that, "She needs this perspective because otherwise she would go
through life thinking she was the boss. She would develop an attitude of
superiority toward people who are superior to her--more experienced,
wiser, stronger, more honorable." This is a prime example of breaking a
child's spirit, which is totally unbiblical. If anyone would like to see
the long-lasting results of this kind of child-rearing, they only need
to go to the testimonies
of children raised in
Worldwide Church of
God. The methods are the same--and in many cases worse in
PCG--as those used under
Herbert Armstrong. Either future
rebellion, or a robotic obedience to all authority, is the inevitable
result. In any case, the fruits are devastation of lives.
The author goes on to falsely
say that if PCG parents get their children to give them "total respect"
they will not only grow up to do the same with God, but they will have a
long life and not "suffer a violent death from war, disease or
starvation." Furthermore, he states, "If we fail to teach her to honour
us and obey God, we are guaranteeing she'll have problems and curses in
her life." To the contrary, it is this type of harsh upbringing that
will end up causing the child lifelong problems without proper
intervention. PCG always places great emphasis on "obeying,"
"government," and "curses." Toward the end of the article the author
says, "So we learn how to be part of a family where GOVERNMENT IS
EVERYTHING!" Yes, emphasis on "government" is everything to PCG
because love, grace and mercy are not taught within the group.
As always, PCG literature
includes an element of fear if one does not do as instructed by the
ministry. For instance, Hilliker declares to the members: "Unless you
become like a little child and you learn this lesson of how to be a
child within a family, you're not even going to make it into the Kingdom
of God!" Matthew 18:1-4 is then cited. In carefully reading this passage
of Scripture it is evident that Jesus is welcoming the children to come
to Him. The late J.
Vernon McGee stated the problem here was not in getting the little
children to come to Jesus, but in stopping the adults from hindering
the young ones from coming to Him. Any PCG adults who inculcate this
type of child rearing are hindering children from coming to know the
true Jesus, who loves them freely. The emphasis in these verses is that
one must become a child in the sense of the new birth. However, PCG
teaches that one is only born again at the resurrection. Perhaps PCG
teachers need to read verse 6: "But whoso shall offend one of these
little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone
were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of
the sea."
April 22, 2004
Appalled
at How Children Were Treated in WCG (can apply
equally to PCG children)
Do
Philadelphia Church of God Husbands Abuse Their Wives?
(also shows examples of healthy behavior in marriages)
Remember
the Children (shows how important children are and how, even at a very young age, they
can understand the gospel and come to Jesus)
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