Common Emotional Difficulties
After Leaving a High Demand Group
The following emotional and psychological* difficulties are common with survivors from the Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God and all related totalistic splinter groups.
Not every survivor will experience all of these, or may suffer from additional ones. Experiencing any of this does not mean you are defective. In some cases these feelings may take years to subside, but it is important to realize that, while painful, they are common feelings with exiters. In time they will pass.
This list overlaps with Common Spiritual Difficulties After Leaving a High Demand Group.
*Some psychosomatic symptoms are also listed.
- Enormous Feelings of Betrayal
- Feelings of Spiritual Rape of the Soul
- Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Trauma becomes crystallized a few days after a traumatic event, such as exiting an abusive, high demand group. Several of a cluster of symptoms can develop, including spontaneous crying, suicidal thoughts, emotional numbing, phobias, social withdrawal, flashbacks, amnesia, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, self-loathing, fear of going insane. - Anger or Rage
Toward the group and leader; toward oneself; suppression of anger in the group actually contributed to depression and a sense of helplessness. - Denial
- Identity Confusion/Disorientation
The pre-cult personality--or real self--struggles with the in-cult personality1 that was imposed by the group. There can be difficulty integrating the cultic world with the outside world. - Dissociation (or Dissociative Identity Disorder)
Not being in touch with reality or those around them; inability to communicate. - Floating (a.k.a. trancing out)
Getting triggered into cult mode, flashbacks into the cult mind-set; thoughts of returning to the group, nostalgic feelings (part of dissociation). - Panic and Anxiety Attacks
- Obsessive Thoughts
- Depression
- Psychosomatic Symptoms
Headache; stomach ache; backaches; fatigue; asthma; skin rashes; lethargy; sexuality problems. -
Problems or Inability in Making Decisions
Because of the dependency fostered by the group. - Lack of Motivation
-
Inability to Concentrate
With short-term memory loss. -
Fear
"What if I am wrong?" "What if harmful events actually do happen?" "I can't ever be happy outside the group." "What if I run into a present member?" Includes phobias and fear of going crazy. -
Grief & Sense of Loss
Grieving loss of innocence, idealism, spirituality, self, pride; sense of purpose, meaning and belonging in life; support system; friends and family lost in the group; loss of time, goals and youth. -
Guilt/Shame
For getting involved, for the people they recruited, things done while in the group; for leaving. -
Lack of Trust
Of group situations; deep suspicions about others motives and attitudes. -
Intense Loneliness
Strong and unique bonds were forged in the group. -
Sense of Purposelessness & Disconnection
Missing the peak experiences of the group. -
Sense of Isolation/Alienation
"No one can understand what I am going through." -
Overly Critical of Oneself and Others
Due to incorporating the harsh attitudes of the cult leader. -
Seeing Everything in Black and White
Cults do not teach to look for the gray areas. -
Problems Having Boundaries
Boundaries were violated time and again in the group until one lost sense of which boundaries were appropriate. -
Feelings of Inferiority and Worthlessness
Cult leaders continually blame members. -
Hypersensitive
To anger and rebuffs from others - Sleep Disorders Including nightmares and insomnia.
- Eating Disorders
- Fear of Intimacy and Commitment
-
Problems with Career or Employment
Because of years in the group; lost job opportunities, etc. - Unable to Deal With Conflicts
- Impatience with Recovery
Info compiled by D. Williams and Mike
Exit & Support Network™
Updated September 14, 2006
Dialectical Behavior Therapy: If you are struggling with any kind of destructive behavior; i. e., suicidal behavior, or self-injury, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has been found to be helpful. This kind of therapy helps survivors to use tools to control moods that can go out of control very rapidly. As one child survivor (who underwent DBT) told us: "When you feel powerless, you feel hopeless. Once you realize that you have the power to change things in your life, you will not feel you have to wait for people to be good to you. You have the power to choose a better option."
EMDR: A number of survivors who have suffered trauma say they have been helped with a new procedure called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). However, therapists trained in complex trauma-related conditions (including mind control trauma) have told us that if the survivor is dissociative, this therapy can cause a flooding of memories. Please discuss this, and any other questions, with a qualified therapist. [offsite links]
Footnotes:
1 Refer to the book, Snapping: America's Epidemic of Sudden Personality Change by Flo Conway & Jim Siegelman.